No Fate

Typing this to the beat of KD Lang: Constant Craving. I am so knackered after last night, yet I've still got quite a lot to do to get ready for the exhibition, namely finishing my costume. I had to glue the velvet and old curtain together as it would have taken forever to sew it, and besides, I didn't have either time or the inclination to do it. I haven't even finished gluing it, but I've still got time to do it tonight... though still need to make the hood, and that will have to be sewn onto the cloak... *groan*... Felt like I slept for ages when I came home, though it was only half an hour longer than yesterday. Spent the night confused and in pain, not able to understand why S. just left like he did, and wondering if I'd ever find that special person, then found myself wondering if it was even worth it at all. Sometimes I think, you know, maybe I'm just too independent to be with someone, but then I know that's what I want, deep down, no matter how often I try to deny it and convince myself otherwise. It's just I've lost so much trust and confidence in other people I get the feeling that maybe I would be better off alone, at least to save myself from hurt.

Steven's Theme

From the moment I first saw your face,

I knew we'd be together

I wanted to keep you forever

By the time I lost you on that grey day

The lightbulb in me expired,

When you opened the door to my car,

And walked out, saying you were hungry, tired

And said you'd see me later; liar

I spend my nights in loneliness, confusion and pain

Sleepless and without purpose, wishing on the stars

Only wondering why I'll never see you again

It could have been so good, but we never got that far