Since You've Been Gone

Feel utterly depressed again today. I feel like I could drive off the edge of a cliff, though it's sad to say I don't think there's many people who would mourn my demise or even notice my absence. I have a suspicion I am about to lose yet another friend. I don't know what's going on, but whenever I try and talk to them (online or try to ring them) I don't get a response. They've been online a few days this week but always have their status set as 'busy'. I know for a fact all they do is play runescape, trawl ebay and check emails. They've also said I'm the only person they speak to online (which makes it even more suspicious). So what gives? If it is what I think it is, I don't even know what I did to upset them. I don't know why I even bother trying to make friends, considering that I seem to have lost/been betrayed/let down by just about every friend I've ever made. What bastard god dictated that I should never find happiness and true friendship? It's not like I'm a complete bitch to everyone I know, though it seems the nastiest people do have the most loyal friends/partners, which goes against logic really. I've never wanted to hang around anyone who seems intent to grind all sense of self-worth and self-esteem into the ground, but then maybe I'm abnormal or something.