Since You've Been Gone

Feel utterly depressed again today. I feel like I could drive off the edge of a cliff, though it's sad to say I don't think there's many people who would mourn my demise or even notice my absence. I have a suspicion I am about to lose yet another friend. I don't know what's going on, but whenever I try and talk to them (online or try to ring them) I don't get a response. They've been online a few days this week but always have their status set as 'busy'. I know for a fact all they do is play runescape, trawl ebay and check emails. They've also said I'm the only person they speak to online (which makes it even more suspicious). So what gives? If it is what I think it is, I don't even know what I did to upset them. I don't know why I even bother trying to make friends, considering that I seem to have lost/been betrayed/let down by just about every friend I've ever made. What bastard god dictated that I should never find happiness and true friendship? It's not like I'm a complete bitch to everyone I know, though it seems the nastiest people do have the most loyal friends/partners, which goes against logic really. I've never wanted to hang around anyone who seems intent to grind all sense of self-worth and self-esteem into the ground, but then maybe I'm abnormal or something.

Insert Lame Literal Movie Title Here

Does Windows Live hate everyone, or is it just me? Just wrote an entry and the bloody thing decided to erase it all... Raaarrggh!!! Looks like I might have to Blog on here again from now on. I'm sick of swearing innefectually at the monitor tonight. And it was all going so well...
Anyway, today was a bit mixed. Feel like I've done a lot, though really haven't achieved much. Sat on the PC trawling ebay for PS2 consoles, as Jackie's has broken. We were playing Need For Speed Underground last night, after watching Oh! My Goddess and the opening FMV of Final Fantasy 8 (for me it must be the millionth time; I just love it, plus I'm going through a bit of a phase of being obsessed by Squall and Final Fantasy in general right now. I know, I'm weird...) and it just kept stopping all the time. Not sure if I'll actually bid on anything, though, as no guarantee they actually *do* work. Plus I've spent rather a lot this month and I'm running low on money until pay day anyway .
Did some more editing on my animation at the youth group in the afternoon, putting the voices on. Still need tweaking here and there, and also opening/closing credits/title, though haven't got any ideas for character names yet. What's a good name for an acid green, tabby striped chav cat?
Anyway, although am pretty pleased with the way mine is going, am intrigued about how Jackie's will turn out. It sounds really cool .

Went out shopping for research group equipment in the early afternoon with the others, though afterwards wished I'd been able to stay behind and work on my film as we were in Staple/Comet (or Currys?) for three hours, and didn't even manage to buy anything though was nice to see Danny and Liam again. Looks like we'll have to do it all arrrghgain next week, though hopefully will be pointful rather than pointless exercise next time. I just got bored and played a puzzle game on the XBox 360 (rotating groups of three coloured hectagons to match and pop other ones; sure someone will know what it's called but I'm just too tired to bother trying to remember right now...). After about 20 minutes went to look for ther others, found they were still standing at the help desk, so I followed Jackie outside to get some air and talk about anime. Have done jack since I got home, though I did rinse out a load of plastic bottles for recycling (before taking them outside and discovering recycle bin hadn't been brought back through the gate; remembered I'd forgotten to bring it back this morning as had volunteered to, but still can't understand why nobody else had done it. ) while chicken noodles were in microwave. Mmmm, out of date chicken noodles *Homer Simpson gargling noise*. Don't know why I bothered making them, to be honest. I guess I just fancied them when I got them out of the cupboard, but kinda changed my mind when they were done, but what the hell. Waste not want not, eh? Really fancied some chips and a fried egg, but could not be arsed. Plus no money for Chippy anyway. I'm considering going on strike for more pay, though more to vent feelings of frustration and taken-for-grantedness rather than expecting anyone to take any notice...