With or Without You

Another day another gruelling battle trying to understand my feelings and to come to terms with/control them again. Wrong and impossible to do anyway. I should have learned by now not to get so obsessed. Maybe I have addictive personality and not know it? Would explain a few things, at least. Actually, it would probably explain a lot... Anyway, have spent most of the day feeling a bit lonely and freaking out again, but finally realised my unspoken expectations are selfish, and I should try to control myself a bit more. But disloyal thoughts push past my rationalisations and say to me in hissing tones, 'If he really liked you he would...' 'maybe you're not what he wants' etc. It's completely stupid.