The emotional demon fight

Later same day...
Phoned Steven. Not really sure what to think, really. He really made me laugh, but wasn't sure what to think of his accent. Sounded like the commentators on TV darts matches. I kept thinking, "This isn't good," but think I was growing used to it by the end of the call. It lasted about 2 hours! That's going to be one big phone bill!
I've got that same horrible feeling that I had with Nick - I wanted to fancy him, but somehow couldn't. It's an awful bottomless pit kind of feeling, where you keep going along with things in case everything changes, because, somehow, you want to feel what they probably feel for you, but deep down you know you're only lying to yourself, and that makes you feel worse, and it all goes round in a vicious circle.